Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you work or what you do you just aren’t feeling the happiness and fulfillment in your life that you would like? I think some of us have felt this way but have been afraid to admit it. I did. It took me almost 20 years to discover this.
Years ago I was feeling overwhelmed, filled with anxiety, gaining weight, feeling extremely symptomatic. Feeling like every day had an urgency without an end, while feeling fatigued, depressed, and having insomnia every night. I was in a deep black hole, stressed out about money, drowning in debt, and felt no matter what I did, I felt like I was suffocating and couldn’t come up for air.
If you have felt this before, the important thing is to acknowledge that you are feeling this way and know that there is a way out. You will need to face your fear it in order to see what is on the other side of it. This is what I call “leaning into fear.” It is scary because you are crossing unchartered territory. For me, after being an attorney for 20 years and realizing that I had to change my career path was very scary. But I realized that I did not have to do it alone. I realized that finding my tribe helped me navigate the road to brighter pastures. The thought of scaling my practice of law was so scary. Afterall, I had put my heart and soul into it, and it was something that was supposed to be in my life forever, like a marriage. But just like a relationship, I had to come to terms with this crossroads and ask myself if it was making me happy and was it bringing me joy and abundance in all areas of my life? My answer was “no” and I realized that it was time to let it go. My body and mind have been grateful to me for making the changes I needed to take my life onto a happier, more fulfilling path. And once you decide the same, your body and mind will thank you.
It took many years to learn that things were happening for me not to me. I was blaming everyone else for making me miserable and unhealthy. But the day I realized that I allowed that into my life, it was a turning point for me. I am eternally grateful for my blessings as a lawyer and for the countless clients I served but it was time for my voice and knowledge to be used to bring me joy and fulfillment, not hurt. I know that now. That is why I have come to discover “Life is happening for me, not to me.”